sieze the marketen!

Drinking mulled wine at the Nuremberg market

All across Europe – or at least the German influenced Europe – was the season for Christmas markets. They begin four weeks before Christmas during the time of Advent, an ancient church tradition representing the four thousand years of Earth’s history before Christ. The world is obviously older than 5,000 sum-odd years, but this is the tradition, so that’s why we keep it at four weeks and don’t let Advent-creep go on too much up to and past Halloween. The twenty-fifth is also – surprise! – not the actual date of the birth of Christ. But hey, it’s tradition and there doesn’t seem to be any reason to change it, other than to get away from the now-established Hallmark Holiday season. 

I'm writing this technically on the last week of Christmas, before 3 Kings Day comes around rears its ugly hydra head around and ushers in Orthodox Christmas. Living in a mixed Christian household, I get the best of both worlds and celebrate both Christmases, which means you, dear readers, get to celebrate both with me as I reminisce about my December travels through the Christmas markets.

There are several names for Christmas markets in Europe and more specifically in Germany where there are as many as there are varieties of wine – which come served hot at the markets. There’s the well-known name Christkindlmarkt, which is typically reserved for the Nuremberg market, where the Christ-child Himself comes down and waves His hands signaling the beginning (usually played by a local child). Then there’s the Weihnmarkt, which is the more common term for the Christmas market. This isn’t a politically correct version of Christkindlmarkt and indeed, not some sly why for the liberal atheist legion to weasel the religion out of the tradition in their all-out war that will only end when all Gods are dead (I’m told). Weihnmarkt, which many Americans think translates as “Winter Market”, actually translates to “Holy Nights Market”, directly referring to Advent. I asked a Muslim what he thought of the Christkindlmarkt once and he said it was a great place to bring the kids, but “it’s unfortunate they felt the need to change the name to Weihnmarkt so as not to offend us”. Frankly, most people in Europe don’t really care what it’s called or what activity happens in European markets as long as there's plenty of hot mulled wine to go around. I for one agree with the average European.

Because of the Christmas markets, the Advent season is one of the best and most romantic times to come to Europe, and thanks to global warming, it’s not even that cold these days. So save your mittens and grab your piping hot mulled mead and wine, here are some of the best of the winter marketen!

1. Prague, Czech Republic

Overpriced birds eye view

Prague is consistently rated as having the number one Christmas market. Despite it being in the Czech Republic, the region has had a deluge of Germanic influences, being a part and partner of German territories for over a thousand years. Though the old town square is indeed dressed up in lights, a giant, orchestra blaring Christmas tree, and wood stalls everywhere, it’s not just the market itself that wins people over. Indeed, the whole city turns into a Christmas market, as stalls and lights are put up in every square in the city, making it entirely possible to traverse the entirety of the urban area with a fresh cup of svarak – pronounced "svajack", the local word for hot wine – in hand at all times. It also brings in a lot of green and other colors to the much needed city, with all the trees barren and the sky always grey and overcast otherwise.

To beer or to wine?

Normally on the first week of Advent, there’s a huge celebration involving lighting the Christmas tree. This year, they canceled the celebration because of the threat from terrorists that never really happened. The forces of the President, in their zeal and eagerness to increase the number of supporters, decided to cancel the event to stir up some fear and loathing against the refugees, since clearly terrorists and refugees, have so much in common – neither are really at all in the Czech Republic!

The drink of choice in Prague is usually beer, but at the Christmas market, you’re forgiven for drinking a glass of mulled wine. However, the markets usually don’t have the good stuff, as I discovered the other weekend. Instead, go on to a potraviny or shop along any number of side roads in the old town. At their doors they’re often selling some more properly mulled wine for much cheaper!

2. Nuremberg

Come early and beat the crowds

Nuremberg has one of the largest Christkindlmarkts in the Continent (indeed, one of the only). As mentioned, a local dressed up as baby Jesus comes out to start it up and at nearly all times there’s a brass band playing Christmas carols on the packed square. The square has a giant monumental fountain from the 13th century on it, and it looks like a Gothic spire went missing from a local church. Perhaps it even fell from the grand Marienskirche that overlooks the site. Walking around the Marienskirche, there is a children’s market, complete with rides and more hot wine, and the market extends all the way up Marientorgraben to the train station, packed at all time with revelers and shoppers.

Bridge Over the River Pegnitz

Our drink of choice here was the hot spiced apple cider, which for Americans, isn’t the dull powdered stuff you get at Walmart, but from actual fermented apples - a proper cider. I’m not even sure why Americans think apples come from paper packets of powder, but they don't. They come from trees and are freshly picked by a desirous and nude woman.

Think to reserve a hotel nearly six months out. If you want to make a proper tour of Christmas markets and still be situated in a good-sized, not huge town, and still be in Bavaria and Franconia though, Nuremberg is a pretty good starting point, being pretty central to the region. It’s a direct train ride from all the airport cities – Munich, Frankfurt, and Berlin – and a direct, 3 hour bus ride from Prague.

3. Rothenberg, Germany

Fairy tale Christmas village of Rothenberg

Rothenberg at any time of year is a trip back in time and during Christmas it’s almost like a trip into Santa’s workshop. The place is well-known for being the center of sales and possibly production of souvenir Christmas ornaments, clocks, and spinning things year round, with a shop right on the main square devoted to it all. During the Christmas season, the town gets decked out with boughs of holly, branches and poinsettias hanging down every window where there were once balcony geraniums, each house framed with large light bulbs wrapped in pine needles. If only there were some snow in the season any more then this would be the perfect snow time getaway.

Rothenberg certainly doesn’t have the biggest Christmas market in Germany, especially since there is hardly much room in the tight pedestrian streets of the old town – the main square even is one of the smallest in Europe. But it’s certainly one of the more romantic ones, especially with its giant, sagging Christmas tree standing before the town hall which seems to fill up half the square, while stalls of souvenirs and sausages cram the tiny alleys that spider-web out from the center.

Main square of Rothenburg

Characteristic of its time-away-from-time atmosphere, nothing is modern in Rothenberg except for the rare taxi trolling through the crowds, bringing some lazy tourist to their hotel or picking them up. Don’t expect to pay for things with your credit card – except maybe your hotel room – and especially don’t expect anything to be on the Internet. Despite there being probably hundreds of hotels in the town, there are less than ten listed on Booking.com, and those are often booked up to a year in advance. But don’t worry, you can always just stay in a nearby village, which may even offer something much more romantic and much cheaper, and since the sun goes down at 4, there’s still plenty of time to enjoy the Christmas lights in Rothenberg and make it back to your hotel.

The drink of choice here is the Feuerzangenbowle. It’s a hot mulled wine, red and white, that is simply insanely delicious. Perhaps the best hot wine I’ve had in all my Christmas marketeering days – and I drink a lot! Meanwhile, the snack of choice is the Schneeball, which is a kind of cookie wrapped around itself until it comes to the size of a fist. I’m not overly impressed by the taste and it’s a real mess to eat, but you’ve got to try one when you’re in their hometown.

5. Bamberg, Germany

Bam, the father of Bamberg

One of the best surprises of my travels was the town of Bamberg. You don’t normally read about Bamberg on the main trails, usually the cities mentioned in Franconia are Rothenberg and Nuremberg. It’s a mistake though to miss out on the Bamberg Christmas market. Bamberg itself is a beautiful medieval town hugging closely the banks of the Regnitz River, pedestrian only bridges – from stone to steel – making an intricate lacework over the rushing waters. The Christmas market here is huge – almost the size of the one in Nuremberg – but the market also winds down the side streets, making it feel as warm and cozy as that of Rothenberg. It’s the best of both worlds really, and since it’s not on the primary tourist track the prices of souvenirs are quite competitive.

Neptune, the God of Christmas

Given that this was the last town I visited on my Christmas market tour, I can’t remember what I drank, but I do remember detoxing at some café near a donut shop. I was thinking fondly of donuts, since they’re hard to come by, they taste better than Schneeballen, and my stomach was still sick off eating too many of those fried doughy things. And then there was more wine, or punch, or something and oh, a guy dressed as Grandfather Frost!